これ・それ・あれ: A Simple Guide

Pick これ if it’s in your hands, それ if it’s in theirs, and あれ if nobody’s holding it right now — physical custody, not distance, decides the word.

This guide is for N5-N4 learners who already know これ/それ/あれ mean “this” and “that.” After this, you will know how to switch words correctly the moment an object changes hands, like at a store counter or a delivery drop-off.

Quick summary: これ/それ/あれ track who is holding an object right now, not how far away it looks.

Word	Whose hands / control	Typical service moment
これ	In your own hands right now	Handing an item or paperwork to staff
それ	In the other person’s hands right now	Staff holding your item, receipt, or parcel
あれ	Not in either person’s hands (set down, sent off, lost)	Reporting something lost, or a package already gone

Why これ, それ, and あれ Change When an Object Changes Hands

The English Habit That Keeps “This” Stuck in Place

In English, “this” and “that” mostly track distance from you, the speaker. You pick one word early in a sentence and keep using it.

Japanese works differently. これ/それ/あれ track who is physically holding or controlling the object, right now, at this exact second.

This matters most during transactions. Paying at a counter, handing over paperwork, passing a box to someone — the word has to update as the object moves.

English never re-labels an object when it changes hands. “That” stays “that” whether it’s in your hand or mine.

Japanese re-tags the object at every handoff. Once it leaves both people’s hands completely — set down, mailed, lost — it switches to あれ, even if you were just talking about it a second ago.

The One-Question Test: Whose Hands Is It In Right Now?

Custody, Not Distance, Decides the Word

Say you’re holding a coin purse and start paying. It’s in your hands, so it’s これ.

The clerk takes it to check the coins. Now it’s in their hands, so the same object becomes それ, even though nothing else changed.

これ vs それ While You’re Still Paying at the Konbini

Tracking the Item as It Crosses the Counter

Before you hand something to the clerk, it’s これ. The moment their hands close around it, it becomes それ.

This switch can happen within the same minute of talking. You don’t wait for a new topic — the object itself decides.

それ vs これ When You’re Booking a Redelivery

The Slip in Your Hand vs the Box in Someone Else’s

A notice slip you’re physically holding is これ, even during a phone call. Being on the phone doesn’t change the rule.

A box someone else is currently holding is それ. This is true even if it’s a family member, and even if the box is originally yours.

あれ for Anything Nobody’s Holding Anymore

Why Lost or Sent-Off Items Almost Always Get あれ

Once an object leaves both people’s control — lost, mailed, put away — it defaults to あれ. This holds true no matter how recently it came up in conversation.

Many learners want to use それ just because something was the last thing mentioned. That instinct is wrong here.

Unnatural: これ、袋に入れてください

Natural: それ、袋に入れてください

English speakers anchor “this” to where the object started, near them, not to where it is now. So they keep saying これ even after the item is already in the clerk’s hands.

Common Mistake: これ、冷蔵庫に入れといて — should be それ、冷蔵庫に入れといて. Ownership doesn’t matter here. Check who is physically holding the item before picking the word.

FAQ: これ, それ, あれ in Beginner Japanese

Why do Japanese people switch from これ to それ mid-sentence when handing something over?

Because これ/それ track who is currently holding the object, not who it belongs to. The instant it moves from your hands to theirs, the correct word changes too, even within the same exchange.

Is あれ only for things that are far away, or can it mean something no one’s holding?

Both. あれ covers physical distance, but it’s also the default for anything currently out of both speakers’ control — lost items, mailed packages, things already put away — even seconds after you mention them.

Do I use これ or それ when I’m on the phone talking about a delivery slip I’m holding?

これ, because custody is about your hands in that moment, not about being in the same room as the listener. Being on the phone doesn’t change which word applies.

Quiz: Whose Hands Is It In?

Try these three questions before checking the answers below.

1. The clerk has already scanned your drink and is holding the bag, ready to close it. You say “___、二重にしてもらえますか?” Which word?
2. You’re holding a redelivery notice slip while your roommate is holding the actual box the courier just handed them. Which pairing is correct: “これ, 日にちも変えられますか?” for the slip and “___、そこに置いといて” for the box?
3. Two days after mentioning a package to a friend, you text: “それ、届いた?” A friend in a different conversation instead texts “あれ、届いた?” about the same kind of situation. Both are grammatical — what’s the difference in meaning?

Summary: Follow the Object, Not the Distance

• これ/それ/あれ don’t just track distance — they track who is currently holding or controlling the object, updating instantly the moment it changes hands.
• Once an object leaves both people’s hands entirely — set down, lost, already sent off — Japanese defaults to あれ, even if you just mentioned it a second ago.
• Because English “this/that” doesn’t reset when something changes hands, English speakers often freeze their pronoun at the object’s starting position instead of following it across the handoff.

Once this custody test feels natural, the next step is learning how これ/それ/あれ work when you’re pointing at ideas instead of objects. That’s a good guide to check out next.